What's it like to be on the other side of me?
Don't answer that!
That's more for YOU than for me. Well...it's for both of us. It's a filter to direct our thinking as we face each new day. If you're one who strives to be a lifetime learner who wants to grow your influence with others, you need to know that lasting influence begins on the inside and works its way out.
Contrary to what many think, influence (and leadership) is not a thing we DO, it's all about who we BECOME. And to "become" we have to drill down all the way to our core...who we are on the inside. What it's like for the people on the other side of who we ARE and what we do about making sure THAT person is the person we want and hope others are experiencing?
Sometimes those two dynamics are very far apart. Who we think we are and the person others encounter are not the same. Bringing those two dynamics closer demands a shift in mindset. We have to move away from an accidental or autopilot mindset that says, "let me be me" or "this is who I am...deal with it," to a very intentional mindset that strives to pay attention to our tendencies and then make necessary adjustments to reframe how others experience life on the other side of us.
"Are you saying I have to be someone I'm not?"
Not at all. This is more of an exercise is self-awareness than anything. The truth is most of us are just unaware of who we are and how others experience us. We're living on Autopilot. What I'm suggesting is a mindset that says, "Turn off Autopilot on me and pay attention to my tendencies and how others respond." We all have tendencies. What we do with them is how we determine how others interact with us.
If you want to go somewhere with this, start a Tendency List and be sure to note how those tendencies usually play out.
"When _____ happens, I tend to _____ and when I do it typically ends with _____."
As I shared before, the key is to simple start paying attention more.
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