Who’s Leading the Dance? Navigating the Nonprofit Board Relationship

In the nonprofit world, the relationship between a board and its Executive Director or CEO can be one of the most defining—and delicate—factors in an organization’s health. Over the years, I’ve noticed a pattern that seems to show up time and again: this relationship is less like a chain of command and more like a dance.

And like any good dance, the first question to answer is simple but critical: Who’s leading?

Many boards I’ve encountered are “first-generation” boards—groups of people who were there from day one, often alongside the founder, carrying a vision that burned hot and clear. In these cases, the board and leader grew together in a shared story. But increasingly, leaders step into roles where they’re not the founder, but the steward of someone else’s vision. That shift changes the rhythm of the dance.

Regardless of how the organization started, the most effective relationships I’ve seen share this in common: the leader sets the pace, and the board supports the movement. The healthiest model is one in which the leader is vision-driven and the board is aligned, coming alongside to lend wisdom, encouragement, and accountability—not control.

This doesn’t mean boards are passive. Far from it. In the best cases, boards are active participants in key decisions—those that impact the direction, integrity, or sustainability of the mission. But when there’s a lack of clarity on what qualifies as “key,” frustration sets in. Leaders feel micromanaged. Board members feel underutilized. And energy gets wasted on decisions that don’t move the mission forward.

A classic sign things are off track? When a board is asked to vote on whether to replace a broken refrigerator. (Yes, that happens.)

Here’s a better framework:

• Vision sets the course.

• Mission defines the work.

• Strategy and behavior align the organization.

• The board’s role is to support, strengthen, and steward—not to steer every detail.

If you’re in a leadership seat or sitting on a board, take a moment to evaluate your rhythm. Are you moving in step with each other? Is the vision leading the way? And most importantly—are you clear on who’s leading the dance?