Putting the Skunk on the Table

Recently, I sat in a meeting where the leader tried to set the stage for an open and honest discussion about "frustrations" among the team. He was banking on the hope there was enough psychological safety to "put the skunk on the table." In other words, have a safe and honest discussion on any current frustrations. He shared his, then open the floor for others. Only one other person in a room of eight spoke up. You could feel the tension between people wanting to share but restraining themselves for a variety of reasons. In essence, the desired outcome was to unveil any underlying challenges that may be hindering the forward progress of the organization.

There's so much I could unpack here about what it takes to build a culture where this exercise could be a healthy one. But I want to use this post to offer a strategy for having the conversation.

First Question: “What’s making it harder for us to accomplish our mission—and what could we improve?”

1. What are you noticing? Ask for a specific example rather than a general complaint.

2. What is the impact? Who is affected, and how does it hinder the work?

3. What might explain it? Explore unclear expectations, capacity, skills, or the process.

4. What could we try? Choose a small improvement.

5. Who owns the next step, and when will we review it?

Let people identify a problem even if they don’t have a solution. Requiring everyone to “bring solutions, not problems” can suppress information you need.

Using the Support/Challenge Matrix language, the session needs both: enough support to speak honestly and enough challenge to follow through. Start the next session by reporting what happened to the previous concerns. That is what makes the conversation credible.

I’d also ask, “What’s working that we need to protect?” You want improvement without accidentally dismantling something valuable.

* This was written as a "collab" with AI with a check for grammar and clarity.