What we see…

• Champion of people Servant-hearted towards others more than themselves

• First to volunteer

• Love going the extra-mile to help others

• Enjoy covering details (maybe too much)

• Has a tendency to ask good questions

• Likes to celebrate others - They are for those on their team

• Great team players - willing to do whatever it takes for team success

• Champion of relationships (create harmony) 

• The relational oil of the team

• Tendency to make sure others are OK (especially after a negative meeting)

• Love to encourage and add value to others

• Give, Give, Give

• Loyal to the core

• Tend to not be confident or secure, but definitely humble

• Rarely fight their way to the front to be heard

• Have HUGE influence capital

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Immature Nurturers…

• Look in mirror and see what’s wrong

• Tend to dominate themselves (hold themselves to standards others don’t hold)

• Ask themselves, “What do I know?”

• Believe, “Nobody wants me here…”

• Tend to take themselves out of the game

• Accept “status quo” - This is just the way it is

• Put themselves last, while everyone else is priority

• Can find themselves constantly striving for unmet expectations

• Think it's better to burn out while caring for others (stuck in 4th & 5th Gear)

 

Strategies…

• Seek them out before you talk to anyone else

• In a meeting, let them speak first

• To embrace challenge, you have to build them a bridge

• Affirm their competence and value to the project/team

• Speak life into them​​

• Be considerate of their feelings when bringing challenge

• Work at drawing out their input (Push vs Pull)

• Invest and believe in them - Give them 3rd Gear time

• Spend quality time to get to know me…really.

• Champion what they value

• Show them that new ideas have been thought through

• Validate and call them up

• Listen to them

• Create a safe space

• Value what they value…PEOPLE

• Need to understand that you value their contribution

• What they are saying: ”Invest and believe in me, even if I don’t believe in myself.”

• Tend to be assuming in what they wish we knew

• Speak the truth in love from the external perspective

• Tell them how well others think of them

• Tell them to be who they are and recognize their value

• Tell them to call themselves up, not out - Remind yourself who you are

• Use a “Daily Charge”...”Today I will _____ “

• Value them and make sure they know it and believe it

• Help them get to 2nd and 1st Gear on occasion

• They value acts of service over gifts or words of encouragement, give them a break

• Show them you are for them and will fight for their highest good

• Values relationships over opportunity

• They can read people very well

• They have a “backstage mindset,” rather than out in front

• Not big fans of quick changes or new initiatives

• Tend to keep opinions to themselves

• Have a habit of devaluing themselves

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What we don’t see...

• Has a habit of devaluing themselves -“I’m not good at _____.”

• Long for relational harmony

• They are aware of what’s going on in the moment

• Always asking if the person in front of them is “for me”

• Want to know if they are in an emotionally safe environment

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Trigger (aka: Will shut down if):

• They feel unappreciated.

• They feel ignored

• Those they care about are unappreciated or ignored

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What they need to hear from us…

• “I believe in you.”

• “What do you think?”

• “I’m challenging your thought, not you.”

• “We need to hear your opinion.”

• “No one is going to critique your ideas immediately.”

• “Try to be open to change and doing things differently.

 

Rules of Engagement…1st

 

Weapon...Medic / Self-Sacrifice

• Willing to stand in harm’s way and willingly offer to lay down their lives for others. Ready to be the scape-goat